Erik's Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!
by Kippo-Girl
Summary: NEW CHAPTER FINALLY! After a long break... summary- Our beloved phantom teaches us some romantic tips to getting the lady (or man in my case) of your dreams! Yay you'll never be without love again!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own the phantom of the opera. If I had created it I'd cry myself to sleep every night for creating such a sad story. Wait…maybe not. But I would've made Raoul less stupid. I mean, come on! In the musical they were all saying "your hand at the level of your eyes!!!"  Like at least 20 times and then what's like the first thing that happened to Raoul after he got down to Erik's lair?? HE GOT PUNJABBEDED!!! How idiotic is that? That's my main reason why Raoul must be punished…anyway like I was saying…I don't own Phantom of the opera. It's owned by cooler people than me *sniffle* Also… the views in this fanfiction are not meant to offend anyone, but are to be taken lightheartedly and in jest. Thank you^_^

Erik's Handy guide to getting the lady of your dreams!!! ™

It's true it's true!! Everyone's favorite Phantom is gonna give us a step-by-step to get the lady (or guy!!!) of your dreams!! Just follow his advice and you'll be…umm…not alone in no time!!!

Erik- thank you for the introduction disembodied voice! *Flashes a sparkly smile* Yes it's true! I'll teach you everything you need to know so you'll be happy and full of love! And ladies, thanks to my superior intellect, you can also use my advice to get guys too! 

*Raoul pops in suddenly and unexpectedly* Raoul- *talking to himself* Now what was I supposed to keep at the level of my eyes? …darn it they tell me often enough…

Erik- *looking at Raoul in utter disbelief* How the hell did you get here??!!! How did I not hear you?

Raoul- Well, I couldn't find the Persian so I got this handy DANDY device, the Persianbuddy2000™, which is just LIKE having your very own Persian! It even says stuff and has a little LCD Persian on it^__^ look he's so cute! *Waves at the screen* Helloo!

Erik- Look, Raoul. I'll give you to the count of three to get out before I Punjab your ass. 

Raoul- *looking panicked* OOH NOO! This happened before! What do I do what do I doo!!!??? 

Erik- 1…

Raoul- *gasp* I know! I'll ask my Persian buddy!! Persian buddy help me what do I do to keep from dying??!!

Erik- 2…

PersianBuddy2000™- Keep your hand at the level of your eyes! At the level of your eyes!

Raoul-…But why??

Persianbuddy2000- The Punjab lass-

Erik- …3!!!! *Erik whips out his Punjab lasso and punjabs Raoul. He isn't dead but is sorta hanging there with his feet just barely touching the ground*

Erik- *mumbling under his breath* what a foolish man… *directing his attention to the audience again* anyway…pardon that little distraction! 

Raoul- can you let me go now? This is very uncomfortable…. And my roguishly good looking neck is getting chaffed…

Erik- Now why would I do that Raoul? Anyway, you might be mildly amusing to keep around while you slowly die a painful death! *evil smile* …then maybe…Christine…oh…oh I don't know what I'm talking about! But you gonna be with your brother soon enough^__^ …and by that I mean dead.

Raoul- oh poo. Being dead wrecks havoc on your skin.

Erik- Oh poo is right! Sorry for all the delays my faithful audience! It's time for:

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

            Raoul- But you didn't end up with- 

            Erik- * furiously through tightly clenched teeth* SILENT! YOU WILL BE SILENT! IF YOU SPEAK OUT OF LINE AGAIN I WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH!!! 

            Raoul- …That sounds bad…Kay Erik good buddy! Carry on!

            Erik- I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Yes! Now on to step one!

Step 1!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Erik- this is the most important step! First you must have a SUBJECT to be the object of your dreams! The one you will go to any length to win the affections of! After you find this "one made for you" can you continue to step 2!

             Raoul- Ohh! I already found the one for me^__^ she's at home right now cooking me a dinner!

            Erik-…what did I just tell you just less than 5 minutes ago? Monsieur WHAT DID I TELL YOU??!!!

            Raoul- Hmmm… *thinks* to keep my eyes at the level of my head? Wait that's not right…or was it to keep my hands at the level of my thighs…? Noo… that can't be it either…

            Erik- *is speechless* … how in the world can you forget that fast??

            Raoul- What'd I forget??? Oh no it's Christine's and our anniversary isn't it??? Oh no I'm really in for it when I get home…

            Erik- What makes you think you are going to live long enough to go back to your home?

            Raoul- *perplexed* Is something going to happen between then? *thinks and realizes he's still hanging by the Punjab lasso* …oh yea…well I'll get out of this somehow! I always do^_^

            Erik- *mumbling to himself* over my corpse like body…*remembers the audience* oh yes! I'm sorry yet again^__^; perhaps I shall continue this later when my Victim…err…GUEST isn't being so unruly! And besides I have some 5 o' clock self-pitying to do. So until next time! Ciao and take care! *waves and flashes a smile for all the phans*

            Raoul- *waves too* please save me! I really think it's my anniversary and I think Christine would be mad if I didn't come back ;__;

            Erik- no one cares about you so shut up.

            Raoul- oh poo.

End Chapter 1!!!

Kippo-girl- so wonderful readers, how did you like it? Was it funny? Was it stupid? Shall I continue? Should RAOUL die? I know it was short…if you like it, I'll continue and the following chapters will probably be longer, or updated more frequently. The only way I'll know is if you review!!! Yay! If you review then I'll be so touched I'll review your stuffs too!! And If I get some I'll continue!!! I love reviews… but not as much as cheesecake^_________^ ahh beloved cheesecake… also if you can catch the quote I used from the book then you get a gold star!! Yay GOLD STAR!! I hate to degrade myself so much but please review *polliwog eyes* pleeeeaaaseee???


	2. Raoul Needs to Shut His Trap

The disclaimer thingy!!!-  first of all I'm sorry if this took longer to update^_^; I got into a drawing frenzy! And then other things came up. Please don't go away dear reviewers ;_; I need you!!! Okay now for the real disclaimers: I don't own phantom of the opera. I own a little Erik plushie, but he is very bad and tries to kill me in the night, and has repeatedly tried to cut down my hanging light thingy in the kitchen so it will fall on my head ;_; but I still love 'em! I also don't own the Oscar Meyer wiener song^_^ disclaimers aside! We are now on to other stuffs that need to come to attention^_^

Erik- T___T I don't want to sing the song. I sang it once already. *see Phantom Of The Shrub*

Kippo-girl- if you sing it I'll make it so that you will get Christine in the end of this story^_^ come on! You need to show that you're sorry for being ungentlemanly!!

Erik- …And the Oscar Meyer wiener song shows that I'm a gentleman?

Kippo-girl- No, it shows that you're sorry, and I give out weird punishments!

Erik- *after much hesitation* fine, but only if I get Christine, and I get to kill you too for your punishment for making me sing the da- I mean…song. 

Kippo-girl-  ^__^ you can kill me if you catch me! But you'll get Christine^_^

Erik- *thinks a bit, grits his teeth and then faces the audience* …Hello. *Fake smile* It seems that It completely slipped my mind that there was ladies in the audience when I addressed monsieur RAOUL in such a manner as I did. I am sorry for any lady I offended with my harsh speaking. Fops like RAOUL…*eye twitch* just boil my blood T__T …but enough of that! I will now sing you a SONG TO SHOW YOU MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES. *Clears throat and stupid little music starts to play* …OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weeeeiiiiineeeerrrr, That is what I'd truly like to BEEEEEEEEEEEEE….and if I were an OSCAR MEYER weeeeeeiiiiiiineeeeeerrrr everyone would beeeee iiiin LOOOOVEEE with… *raises arms up* MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! …I hope you'll accept my apology and not take it upon this poor, pathetic girl who is about to experience an untimely DEATH.

Kippo-girl- *huuuug* thank you! 

Erik- *crazed glint in eye*

Kippo-girl- ^_^ …….………..…………..….……………………………… HELP ME STAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs away* anyway on with the story! And thank you for reviewing^__^ every time some one reads a fanfiction and doesn't review, a little child in a far off country cries. Do it for the children ;_; *man Erik's gonna slaughter me if he finds out I have no authoress powers ^_^;*

Chapter 2!!!!!

*the next morning* Erik- *just waking up in bed*  ahhh… another horribly lonely day of misery! *hears a voice in the other room* who's here?! *rushes into the room* WHO DARED TO SNEAK INTO ERIK'S…wait…it's just RAOUL.

Raoul-  *Still hanging from the Punjab lasso, with his feet just barely touching the floor talking to the PersianBuddy2000™* hmmm… Z?

PersianBuddy™- No. you lose.

Erik- Monsieur… may I ask what you are doing…

Raoul- *Still looking at the screen, and not paying attention* DARNIT!!! I can never win at this!!!

Erik- *grits teeth* monsieur RAOUL!!

Raoul- *looks at Erik* ohh? Good morning^_^ I was just playing a friendly game of hangman with me PersianBuddy2000™ BUTILOSTAGAINIT'STHESIXTYITHTIMEILOST_ NOOOOOOOO

Erik-… How ironic. I'm not going to even ask you what the answer was.

Raoul- oh you don't have to ask the answer was-

Erik- Ah enough of this random nonsense! Time to continue helping my poor forlorn lovers get the loves of their lives^_^ 

Raoul- One question.

Erik- No.

Raoul-  why are you helping people find love when you never even got-

Erik- …

*Screen blacks out. 10 minutes later we find a royally pissed Erik and a severely beaten RAOUL who looks as tho he's hanging on to life by a thread. Well, a Punjab lasso I guess.^_^*

Erik- * Looking quite like the Insane madman, he's foaming at the mouth making insane threats at RAOUL* WHATDIDITELLYOUYOUIDIOTICFOPYOUARETHISCLOSETOTASTINGDEATHISWEARYOUHAVETOBETHESTUPIDESTLITTLE- * realizes that the audience is watching and hurriedly regains his composture* Hello! *flashes a ERIKbrand™ smile, all the phans promptly swoon* I was just telling monsieur RAOUL that he needs to watch his words when such a large audience is watching ^_^

Raoul- *nearly dead and hanging from the Punjab lasso, there's hints Erik used him as a punching bag (hehehe…)* you..lie…_ *hack up blood*

Erik- you speak like a fool. And now! Erik shows you the next step to:

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Raoul- ….can I have some painkillers? This is the worst pain I've ever experienced ;_; Ever.

Erik- you could always do everyone a favor and just lift your feet a little so you can just hang yourself. Death's the best painkiller.

Raoul- Oh poo. I was supposed to be home a while ago and if I die I can't do that.

Erik- *dripping with sarcasm* now how did you come with THAT conclusion, monsieur?

Raoul- well, if you die you really can't go-

Erik- Anyway now! It seems we get off the subject so much that it isn't even amusing anymore!

Step 2!!!!!!!

Erik- after you have found this person, you will probably develop an unhealthy obsession with this person. This is a result of finding the one for you, and is completely normal. So the next logical step is to introduce yourself into their lives! The best way to do this is to at first blatantly flat out lie to them to make yourself sound more appealing! I mean, for example, would you rather have an ANGEL OF MUSIC, or Erik?

Raoul- Angel! Erik is stinky and likes to try to hang me!

Erik- *growls* I didn't ask your opinion, FOP. After they get to know you, then you can start showing them the real you! BUT, this is a later step! Don't attempt this step too soon or they'll reject you!

Raoul- that's what happened to you right?

Erik- *tries very hard and with much difficulty to keep from exploding with fury* …after all of this is done…one of us is going to die. A very painful, agonizing, horrible death. 

Raoul- I hope it isn't me.

Erik- We'll let the PHANS decide, monsieur. …Raoul… even though this won't help you, seeing as you are going to die in the near future, but it would be wise to watch your tongue.

Raoul-  You know monsieur phantom, I've been thinking a lot-

Erik- Wow.

Raoul- Yea that's what I thought too! I was all like wow monsieur Raoul, you crazy old dog your actually doing it! You're thinking!

Erik- I'm afraid to ask, but what were you thinking?

Raoul- what?

Erik- you said you were thinking a lot! 

Raoul- ooooooh yea! …I forgot.

Erik- …*faces audience* I'm sorry but we need to cut to a commercial *smile* please stay tuned!

Intermission #1!!! Commercial!!!!!

*Kippo-girl and Stan* walk in front of the screen* Kippo-girl- Hey Stan, have you always wanted your very own Persian, but didn't know where to look?

Stan- Not really.

Kippo-girl- …Well I always have! 

Stan- Slave? Why in the world would you want your own Persian?

Kippo-girl- Well Stan, It isn't just ANY Persian! It's THE Persian! And now you can have your very own Persian! Behold the glory that is the PersianBuddy2000™!! It's like having your very own Persian, but travel size and you don't have to smell him!!

Stan- Hot diggity damn!

Kippo-girl- That's right Stan! But don't cuss again or we'll be taken off for inappropriate language! *Flashes a sparkly smile* It has lotsa features too, including speech capabilities and an LCD screen so you can see your Persian! How cute is that? 

Stan- What he good for?

Kippo-girl- I was hoping you'd ask!! He's just like having the actual Persian with you! It's that cool! It also comes with one game^_^ hangman!

Stan- haahaa how ironic.

Kippo-girl- Yeah^_^ So get one today! All for the low low price of-

Erik- And we're back!

Raoul- I'm hungry. Can I have food? Or can you maybe let me loose? Please *puppy dog eyes*

Erik- hmmmmm * looks as he's really contemplating on whether to actually let Raoul loose, then laughs maniacally* hahahahahhahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahaaaaa^_^ No. When I let you go again is when Christine comes back to me.

Raoul- but Christine would nev- *thinks* oooooohhhhhh…..well poo.

Erik- *Starts to get lost in his own thoughts* ooh…Christine….why…*snaps out of it* T____T Ooooh Raoul you are going to be a dead man! 

Raoul- ;_; I really don't know what I did to you! What did I do to deserve this?? *sniffle*

Erik- * Feels his anger rising again, and to divert his attention to something else he addresses the audience* WELL! That's all the time we have for today! I need to go relax before I die from prolonged exposure to the fop and I'm sure all my Phans wouldn't want that! So until next time^_^

Raoul- No one loves me ;_;

Erik- At least you're not telling yourself lies.

______________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2 end!!!!

Yay^_^ Sorry if this one wasn't as funny I was a little uninspired ;_; I'm more of an artist than a writer…but I really like writing^_^ Hopefully it's good enough! The only way I'll know is if you review! So please review ;_; I'd like to thank everyone that's reviewed so far you really made my day^__^ I love reviews more than anything! I'm sorry for all the Raoul bashing in this also, I tried not to but I couldn't resist ^_^; I'm actually sort of liking him lately. I never hated Raoul cause he got Christine in the end, but because he was just so stupid to me! He just seemed to fall in love so fast…_ like "oooh it's Christine my childhood friend and she's singing I think I'm in love with her!!"  T____T to tell you the truth, before I saw Phantom of the opera on broadway (oooh I was so lucky! I thank my aunt)I had heard a little about it and I thought the phantom ended up with the girl. Haa… you know…I don't like Christine. That's who I don't like. She led two men on and chose the handsome one. Yea. Kay I'm done ranting now^__^ just had to get that out! 

* Stan's my partner in crime (see me profile) and he's from the game Okage: shadow king. If you have a play station 2 and like rpgs I VERY MUCH recommend this game! Go play it^__^ 


	3. Christine comes into the picture!

The disclaimer thingy again!!!!: I don't own phantom of the opera, as stated in previous chapters. I would write something witty here, but I can't think of anything^_^ my minds a complete blank! …^___^ it happens a lot. I'm like Raoul that way, and it makes me sad. …okay! Enough randomness!!! Thank you for the peoples who review! It makes me so happy to get them=^__________________________^= see? Sooooo….

Thanks to miranda7911^_^ she gotta gold star for being smart!

Thanks to Stuntchini!! Yup I do have an Erik plushie^_^ I found him recently while I was in a Halloween store. He's now been through a lot and now despises me ;_; I'm really not as nice as I should be to me poor unhappy Erik…

Thanks to La Pamplemousse!!!! O_O that's a nice wrath ^_^; I update I update!! Ack I didn't update soon enough_ *gets attacked*

Thanks to snow white muse^_^ I'm glad you like the persianbuddy2000™ and it can be all yours for just-

THANKS to ash! The mysterious reviewer. 

Thanks to Phantom Aria ^___^ I will continue to attempt to amuse you peoples^__^

Thanks to Meiko M!! it must be awesome to be able to sing opera;_; I wouldn't know, I can't sing if my life depended on it.  You should've changed so you would've gotten Erik at the end!

Thanks to little angel!! Another mysterious reviewer^_^ don't worry Christine will be coming into the story soon enough! I mean, her husband's missing! Oh yea, if you wanna persianbuddy2000™, they go for the low, low price of- *coughing fit* _ …oh yea..where was I? Right!

Thanks to  NightSlayerZimma^__^ yea Stan! He's cooler than beans, but not as cool as cheese. He says that everyone's reading the story cause of him. I'm not gonna argue with 'em.

Thanks to Erik' Angel of Music!! Yea! Erik assures you his plan is the best way to woo the person of your dreams^_^ I'm not gonna argue with him either.

Yup that's it^__^ now for something completely different!! Yaaay!

Chapter 3!!!!!!!!

At the De Chagney house… 

*Christine, sitting alone at the dinner table* Christine- …something's missing. *thinks about it for 2 hours, goes to sleep, wakes up, thinks about it for another day as she's doing her errands, and as she's about to go to sleep, she has a lightbulby go off in her head* THAT'S IT!! I FORGOT TO GET BEEF AT THE STORE THE OTHER DAY__ … oh well I'll get it tomorrow, or I'll ask my love to get it^_^ *falls asleep…wakes up!! Suddenly!!* OH MY GOODNESS! Where's Raoul?

Meanwhile!!

*we open up to Raoul all alone still punjabbed in Erik's living room, it's nighttime* Raoul- *sniffle* I'm aaaaaaaaaaaaallllll  aaaalooooooooooooooooneee theeeree's nooo one-

Erik- *from the other room* monsieur please SHUT UP OR I'LL SEW YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Raoul- But I had a nightmare…I sing when I have nightmares ;_;

Erik- and when I'm waken up from my SLEEP by a fop, I kill them on the spot.

Raoul- …okay I'll shut up ;_; (aww poor Raoul…__ I never thought I'd say that!!) …can I ask just ONE favor? Pleeease??

Erik-…no. *goes back in his room* 

Raoul- *sings softly to himself* this is the song that never ends…

The next morning!! 

Erik- *comes out of his room all dressed and stuffs and ready for the day! Yay!! He faces us* good morning, my pupils of LOVE! Today I will teach you-

Raoul- *still singing softly to himself* some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they just kept on singing it forever just because this was the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends…*still singing softly*

Erik-…what ARE you singing so HORRIBLY monsieur?

Raoul- *still singing* this is the song that never ends…

Erik- AAAAHHHHH IT MUST BE STOPPED  *whacks Raoul like a tether ball and he gets knocked out cold* …* regains his composture and faces the audience again* …I'm terribly sorry for the temporary insanity you just witnessed^_^ shall we begin??

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Erik- If we're lucky, then Raoul won't bother us with his infuriating comments! 

Raoul- yay you made me stop singing the song!

Erik- _ can I ask you something, monsieur?

Raoul- no.

Erik- What DID you say?

Raoul- Umm…no?

Erik- I knew you said that!!

Raoul- then why'd you ask me?

Erik- T__T you're walking on thin ice!

Raoul- hahaha I was being you! Don't you get it?? I always ask if I can ask you something and you say "no." heheheheee^_^

Erik- …If Christine wouldn't hate me for the rest of eternity for killing you, you would have been dead at least 2 chapters ago.

Raoul- awww. Why would you want to kill me? ;_;

Erik- Is that a trick question?…_ we're getting off topic! My students want to know how to get their love!

Raoul- why would you teach how to get someone-

Erik- CUE!!

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Erik- STEP 3!!! 

Step 3!!! 

Raoul- yay!

Erik- after you have piqued their interest, then you can TAKE THEM DOWN TO YOUR LAIR AND HAVE THEM SING YOUR MUSIC FOR YOU!!!!! 

Raoul- yay!

Erik- if you do this JUST right, you will be able to snag them and they will be yours!! But this isn't the final step, for nothing is solid until they pledge their love to you! And you'll most likely need a back up plan in case this step backfires and they find out more about you too soon. I will elaborate in the next chapter!

Raoul- Yay!

Erik- why are you so enthusiastic?

Raoul- cause…gray skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face! Stick out your chin and cheer-

Erik- *kicks Raoul repeatedly* NO! BAD RAOUL! NO TALKING EVER!!! 

Raoul- ;_; oow that hurts like pain!

*Meanwhile!!!*

*We switch to Christine!!* Christine- *looking for Raoul* __ where can he bee? …oh! I wonder if he got lost in the opera house…

 *and so Christine went to the Paris opera house to look for her beloved Raoul* 

Erik- wait!!!

*Kppo-girl walks in* what?

Erik- that doesn't sound like she's gonna choose me over…THAT!! *points to Raoul, who is making spit bubbles with his mouth…hay that's actually sorta entertaining!! I think I'll do that^_^

Kippo-girl- *is making spit bubbles with her mouth* 

Erik- Stop that!! __ Why must I always be tortured!!??? Everyone'ssostupidthesedaysIcan'ttakeitanymoreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_

Kippo-girl- don't worry you'll get Christine in the end I promise! Now let me continue writing!

 *And so Christine went to the Paris opera house to look for her beloved Raoul…*

Christine-…Oh poo…I forgot my way around..

End chapter!!!! 

I'm sorry I didn't get this up sooner_ ack I'm horrible! And it's short too;_; *punishes herself* I'm sorry there was a bunch of other things that all the sudden got my attention;_; the next one will be longer I promise! And I'll be quicker about it too_please forgive me and still review! Erik compels you! And so does Stan!


	4. What's the sound of a brain snapping?

Disclaimer!! I don't own phantom of the opera. Stan does. He owns everything. HE OWNS YOU! HE OWNS ME!! …I lied. Poor Stan owns nothing. Isn't that sad? Lets all be sad for Stan…

Erik- WAIT! No! you're supposed to be sad for me!! For meeee;_; poor, unhappy Erik!!

…I lied about that too, Erik didn't say that. Heehee it's late! Weel, the main point is that I don't own phantom of the opera, I didn't even make it up. Other, LUCKIER people own it, and a guy who's cooler than beans made it up. Or based it on a true story, I prefer to believe the former, cause it would be just too sad for a story like that to be true;_; And the other point is that I'm a compulsive liar at 3 in the morning__…mmm compulsive reminds me of food for some reason!

Kippo-girl- today you get an extra special treat! More story^__^ more funniness! I wrote more just for you!!!

Erik- I don't know how you can call this funny T_T

Kippo-girl- you know Erik, you aren't NEARLY as funny as you could be you know that?

Erik- I DON'T WANT TO BE FUNNY!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE EVERYTHING!! WHY DON'T PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE_____ *storms of in a rage*

Kippo-girl- *yells at him* see what I mean??!! * Looks and sees nightslayerzimma* oh hello^_^ 

Night slayer Zimma- hello!! ^^*Throws a redead on Kippo-girl an then lets out a maniacal laugh then runs off to go get stuff to dispose of Stan* weehehehehehehehehehe^__^

Kippo-girl- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELPMEGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFWAAAAAAHHHHHELPMEANYONEHEEEEELPPWAAAAAHHHHHERIK;_; *runs around in cirles with a redead on her* 

Stan- …just start the story before this gets any stupider T__T

Erik- haahaa that's actually pretty funny!

Chapter 4!!!! 2nd intermission!!! REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement!! 

*ahh it's nighttime, the time for dreams…*

*fades into a happy Raoul humming and singing and just in a happy mood!! ^__^ he just walked into Erik's house, and now we see a sad dejected Erik slumped down on the floor with his back on the couch* Raoul- Hi! ^__^

Erik- *is sad*

Raoul- why you so sad?

Erik- *looks at Raoul and looks sad some more*

Raoul- aww, I can't let my poor buddy be this sad!! *thinks* …I know what will cheer you up!! 

Erik- *looks at Raoul sadly*

Raoul-  *stuffs his hand in his pocket, and takes out his hand shaped as a fist, with his thumb in between his index finger and his middle finger* look! I got your nose! *wiggle wiggle* ^____^ 

Erik- EGADS YOU'RE RIGHT!! And it's still fresh with youthful vibranceness!! I demand My nose back!! Give it meeeeee!

Raoul- wait! The voices in my head just told me we have to sing a song!

Erik-* gasp!!* You can't disobey the voices!!

*The Persian all of a sudden busts in and starts to play dinky music on a kazoo. Erik and Raoul start doing a stupid little dance ^__^*

Raoul-Hot dogs, Armor hot dogs, 

Erik-What kind of kids eat armor hot dogs? 

Raoul-Fat kids!!

Erik- Skinny kids!!

Raoul- Kids who climb on rocks!!

Erik- *makes a intimidating look* Tough kids!!

Raoul- *makes an innocent look* Sweet kids!!!

*The Persian pipes in* Persian- Even kids with chicken pox love hot dogs!!

Erik and Raoul- Armor hot dogs!

*Christine suddenly appears and the all sing the end* All- The kind KIDS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!! *all waving their hands in the air while singing LOOOVE!!!*

*after they're done singing there's an uncomfortable silence…*

Erik-…so can I have my nose back now?

~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*

In A.D. 1885 war was beginning…

Andre and Firmin- What happen?

MM. Giry- Someone set us up the chandelier!

MM. Giry- We get note.

Andre and Firmin- What!

MM. Giry- main screen turn on! 

ERIK- How are you gentlemen! ! 

ERIK- All your opera house are belong to me.

ERIK- You are on your way to detruction.

Andre and Firmin- What you say!!

ERIK- you have no chance to survive make your time

ERIK- Ha ha ha ha….

Andre-…take off every "zig"

Andre- you know what you doing.

Andre- Move "zig".

Andre- for great justice.

Firmin-…what in God's name is "zig" ??

~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~**~*~**~**~*~*

*in his underground lair, talking to a big screen of people consisting of the opera house managers we only see the Erik's head and the big screen* 

Erik- Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa! I'm on top of the world!!! I have Christine, Raoul's been punjabbed, and the whole opera house bows down to me!!! *we now see all of Erik*…but oh no, I'm naked O.O!!!! 

*Everyone starts laughing except Erik*

 Erik- T___T This sucks.

~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Raoul- Christine! Christine listen to me! Whatever you may believe, this man…this thing…Is NOT your father!! *to the phantom* let her go! For God's sake, let her go!!!

Christine- *coming out of her trance* Raoul, no…

*Christine runs to Raoul, who embraces her protectively. The Phantom freezes for a moment and then suddenly seizes a pike, upon which is impaled a skull. At a movement from him, a flash of fire streaks and kinda does this pathetic wussy little fizzle that doesn't even come close to reaching Raoul*

Erik-errr… *the phantom tries again to make the skull spout out a fireball, and succeeds in making another pathetic attempt at fireball-making-ry* T__T aww screw it! *Erik punjabbs Raoul, hops down from the top of the gate thingy, and proceeds to beating Raoul with the skull pike thingy* Bad Raoul!!!

Christine- Oh Erik, you look so cute when you're beating up Raoul like that! I want to marry you right away!!

*Erik and Christine embrace as Raoul dies of punjabbery in the background and they live happily ever after!!*

Part 2!! Dream time over!!! The real story continues!! 

*opens up to Erik and Raoul in the living room. Raoul is still punjabbed (what? Did you think Erik would let him go??  Silly^__^) Erik appears to be VERY upset and is ranting and raving at Roul…lets take a closer look at what's going on, shall we??^_^* 

Erik- *foaming at the mouth* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME MONSIEUR??!! I DARE you to say it!!!

Raoul- ^__^ got your nose!! *wiggles his thumb in-between his fingers! wiggle wiggle^__^*

Erik- O_O THAT'S IT!! YOU'RE A DEADMAN!!!

Raoul- but you were happy about it in my dream…

Erik- RRRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!!! *Lunges at Raoul*

Raoul- MEEEP!!! *Tries to run away but the Punjab lasso pulls him back* AAAIIIIIIEEE! 

*Raoul is now running in circles while Erik is trying to catch him, during the midst of this, Christine enters*

Christine- what are you guys doing?^__^

*Everything stops!!*

Erik- *in the middle of getting ready to sock Raoul* Chri-Christine!! H-How did you get here??

Christine- weel…I couldn't find the Persian OR you sooo I got this handy device called the ErikBuddy2000™ and it just like having your own Erik!! It's sooo cute^___^

Erik- …you could have had the REAL Erik…

Christine- oh Erik I didn't hear you what did you say??^__^

Erik- Nothing nothing…

Raoul- oh look!! *Gets out PersianBuddy2000™* they can be friends!!

*Christine and Raoul connect their ErikBuddy2000™ and PersianBuddy2000™*

LCD Erik- …we meet again.

LCD Persian- That is true…

LCD Erik- you know what that means!! *Takes out Punjab lasso and smiles evilly*

LCD Persian- O_O wh-why do you want to kill me??!! 

LCD Erik- hmmmm….I was programmed to^__^ *throws Punjab lasso at LCD Persian but he counters with "level of your eyes attack!!"* Oh so you gonna play dirty now!! Okay!!

LCD Persian- BRING IT ON UGLY!!!

*the LCD Persian and LCD Erik fight pokemon style!!!*

Christine- Eriky-poo use your fear tactic!! *LCD Erik takes off his mask and the LCD Persian is blinded with a face-full of ugly!!!*

Raoul- OOOH NOOO!

Christine- ^___^ Finish him off!! *punjabbery!! The LCD Persian loses!!*

Raoul- __ 

Christine- OOOOH I WIN I WIN!! What do I get honey??

Erik- *is watching in disbelief the whole time* 

Raoul- A KISS!!!

*They are about to kiss but right before they do Erik tugs on the Punjab lasso a bit* 

Raoul- UUURRRK!!!

Christine- *already forgot about it* well dear I really must be going^__^ before you come home bring back some beef okay??

Erik- WAIT!!….errr…I mean, umm…weel *blush* youmustbetiredsowhydon'tyoujustrelaxandtakeabreakhere*gasp* ^___^; you could…ehh…sleep in your room!! I'll open it up for you!!

Christine- *air headed beaming smile!!*Oh Erik^__^ you're so considerate! You guys just have your fun and I'll take a rest! *Erik opens up the room for her and Christine goes in. He then shuts the door behind her*

Erik- yes…hehehehehe…FUUN. *malicious smile*

Raoul- meep;_; 

Erik- well, my faithful audience it's time for:

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Raoul- YAY!!

Erik- first before I give you the next step I will elaborate on step 3! If your plan DOES backfire too soon and they figure out the real you, do not worry! You still have a chance^_^ but this is where the 4th step comes in!!

Step 4!!! 

Erik- Rid your self of ANY competition….even if step 3 was successful it would be best to get rid of ANY threat that might make your object of affection not want to be with you…Anyone you see as a possible threat MUST be eliminated…*another horribly malicious glance at Raoul*

Raoul- *isn't paying attention* MAN!! Why does Christine get her own room??!! I want my own room! Monsieur Phantom why don't I have my own room?

Erik-*snap! Can you here his mind snapping? ^__^ the strands of sanity are breaking yay!!*…hee…you want your own room here monsieur? I think I have JUST the room for you! You'll love it I'm sure I know I do…it has lots of trees-

Raoul-What kind of room has trees??

Erik-*a little agitated that he was interrupted* AND mirriors-

Raoul- woo mirrors I love them mirrors cause I can look at myself in them^__^ I'm very handsome you know…wait you wouldn't you be pretty hideous…

Erik- *SNAP!!* THAT'S IT YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!! *Lunges at Raoul*

Raoul- AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!! *Runs around in circles trying to get away from Erik*

End Chapter!!!^__^ 

*just to let you know Raoul's still punjabbed^__^* Oooh maan I have the worst writers block__  I tried really hard on this chapter but I'm sorry it isn't that funny;_; I'm losing inspiration!! if you have some suggestions for me I'd really appreciate it! Please review^__^ I love them reviews! I like constructive criticism too so don't be afraid to correct me please! I would also like to note that the 1st and 3rd dreams were basically my brother's ideas for me story^_^ the 3rd dream was spoofeded from the family guy. I love that show^__^ and on a completely different note I get to see the phantom of the opera again for me birthday present^___^ It's in L.A.!!!  oooh I can't wait___ so 'til next time!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE THERE'S A REDEAD ON MY BACK GETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!_____________________ HELP MEEEEE!!!

Stan and Erik- haahaa she looks so stupid^__^


	5. Where Erik runs out of milk, and other s...

WARNING- THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEVERE RAOUL BASHING…LITERALLY. IF YOU LIKE RAOUL, PLEASE NOT LIKE HIM FOR THIS CHAPTER AND READ^__^ THANK YOU!

IT'S THE DISCLAIMER!!! I do not own Phantom of The Opera. *tries to think of something mildly amusing but fails again* damm-nit why does that always happen! I'm here to entertain you people!!!___

*in fanfiction limbo* 

Erik- WhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine whendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine

whendoIgetChristine WhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine

whendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine

whendoIgetChristine WhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine

whendoIgetChristinewhendoIget*gasp*ChristinewhendoIgetChristine

whendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristineWhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine

whendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIget

ChristinewhendoIgetChristineWhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristine whendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIget

ChristinewhendoIgetChristineWhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIget

ChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIgetChristinewhendoIget

ChristinewhendoIgetChristine?????

Kippo-Girl- Eeerrr…^_^; To tell you the truth I don't know…

Erik-WHAT??!!

Kippo-Girl- weel Erik…I have to come clean with you… Pleasedon'tkillmebutIhavenoauthoresspowerssoIcan'tmakeChristinefallhopelessly

inlovewithyousoyoucanlivehappilyeverafterinblisswithhersopleasedon'tkillmeeventho'

youprobablyaregoingtoanywaysoI'mgonnarunawaynowBYYYEEEE!!! AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE

*Runs like the dickens*

Erik- SO I SANG THAT STUPID HOT DOG SONG FOR NOTHING???!!!!! *Brain snap!!!* AAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!! *Runs after Kippo-Girl faster than the dickens*

Kippo-Girl- *crying and trying to fun faster than Erik who runs faster than the dickens* AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER YOU DIDN'T SING THE OSCAR MEYER WIENER SONG FOR NOTHING AND YOU MIGHT STILL GET CHRISTINE AT THE END IF YOU DON'T KILL MEEEEEEE!!!!!

Erik- *continuing to fun faster than the dickens so is catching up to the not running as fast as Erik Kippo-Girl…man this joke is dying^_^* AHA! MORE OF YOUR BRAIN TRICKERY!! You fail to mention that I have an equally equal chance at getting Christine even if I kill you! Whether you are dead or not doesn't matter!!!

Kippo-Girl- OH EXCREMENT!!! *Sees a Red Bull vending machine* AHA!! *Quickly gets a Red Bull and drinks it* SUCKER!! RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS!! I'M OUTTA HERE^_________________________________^…

*nothing happens…CRAP I have the best luck…* 

Kippo-girl- OOHHH NO IT LIED!!!

Erik- *evil creepy ErikBrand™ laugh*

Kippo-girl- now now eeeheheheheh…let's not be too hasty *panicked look* if you don't kill me now I promise not to belittle you in another fanfic ever again!

Erik- Now THAT'S a blatant lie! *Brandishes Punjab lasso*

Kippo-girl- EEEPP O_O STAN WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU I NEED YOU TO SAVE ME ***RIGHT NOW!!!***

***MEANWHILE IN ERIK'S HOUSE ON THE LAKE***

Stan- Sure I'll save you, but I'll need some *ahem* motivation to do so*makes the

 "I want moolah" gesture*

Raoul- What does *makes the "I want moolah" gesture* mean?

Stan- aww screw it I'm too lazy to help you…Hay where's my slave gotten too?

Chapter 5!!!!! *Finally, eh?*  Where Erik runs out of milk, and other stuff happens!

*we open up to a much calmer Erik in the kitchen. It's morning now and as opens the ice box, he finds there is no more milk* 

Erik- Well, it's seems I'm out of milk.

Raoul- *from the living room, STILL punjabbed as he's always been* I have some milk!!

Erik- *comes out of the kitchen, Almost dreading the answer to the question that he was about to ask* YOU have milk, monsieur? …HOW, may I ask, do YOU have milk?

Raoul- Why, I have it right here in my pocket! Christine gives it to me in a baggie sos I have food in case I get lost^_^ *takes baggie out of his pocket and waves it around* see??

Erik-….wouldn't that milk be bad now??!!

Raoul- My pants are refrigerated!

Erik-That's a blatant lie! *Is getting frustrated* That's it! From now on, every ounce of stupidity I receive from you will earn you an ounce of DEATH!

Raoul- YAY like earning Chuck E. Cheese tickets!

Erik- ARE YOU TRYING TO BE EVEN MORE IDIOTIC??!!!

Raoul- *With a completely serious face* Yes.

Erik-  *smack Raoul on the head* BAD RAOUL BEING STUPID IS A SIN!

Raoul- OOOWWW ;_; I didn't do anything wrong all I did was offer you milk from my refrigerated pants!!

Erik- *SMACK even harder* SHUT UP! Your stupidity amazes me!

Raoul- Thank you I try^__^

Erik- *with all his force, inflicts a deadly blow to Raoul's head* I SAID BE SILENT!! DO NOT SPEAK ANY MORE!! CEASE TALKING!! *Faces audience* Hello! Hopefully there were no Raoul fans in the audience, but I'm sure there is none in existence anyway…

*oooh that's cold Erik _*

Raoul- I do TOO have-

Erik- *raises hand in preparation to hit a fop*

Raoul- *whimper*

Erik- Good. We're learning. *Grins cruelly and faces audience again* And today you shall learn a lot as well from your teacher! It's time for

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Raoul- YAY!

Erik- …Yes whatever.

Raoul- May I ask a question?

Erik- If you wish to die…yes.

Raoul- O_O you said YES!! You never say yes when I want to ask a question!! AWESOME!!

Erik- FINE! WHAT IS IT ALREADY!

Raoul- Am I supposed to not be punjabbed anymore? *Raoul has somehow got out of his punjabbery*

Erik- *stares in disbelief* How in the world DID you do that?!

Raoul- Somehow I got free of my clothes too! WHHHEEE I'M…NAKED!

Erik- *averts his eyes* RAOUL GET YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!!!! COVER YOUR SHAME!!

Raoul- *runs in circles around the lair* I'M FREE I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! FREE AS A BABIES BUTT!!!

Erik- *covering his eyes, he blindly chases after Raoul, tripping over numerous objects* RAOUL YOU ARE A GROWN MAN STOP RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!! You'll ruin EVERYTHING!!!

*a yawn comes from inside Christine's room* Christine-  What is all that noise? Erik? Raoul? What's going on?

Erik- !!!!! Gah! 

Raoul- WEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!

Erik- Do you act like this in public!?

Raoul- Nope! Just with you^_^

Christine-Hellooooo…

Erik- Crap on a stick! I have to do something… let's see… what would Don Juan do in this situation?

Thought-bubble Don Juan- *runs around the room naked* WEEEEEHEHEHEHEHE!

I am Don Juan Triumphant! I TRIUMPH AGAIN! *Thought bubble disappears*

Erik- Blast!

Christine- ummm… I think I'm locked up in here…. Can you let me out…I don't know how…

Erik- NOOOOOO… um I mean… just a minute dearest while I, um, fetch the key…or something…

Christine- Oh, goody!

Raoul-Hey, what's this? *Picks up Erik's Don Juan opera script* 

Erik- Gih! You…you… get away from that YOU!

Raoul- Hey watch this! *Picks up a large stack of the Don Juan script* I'M THE INCREDIBLE HULK!!!  GRAAAGGHHH!!!! *Rips the impressive-sized stack of paper in half* Hehehehehe…. I'm priceless!

Erik- *stares in shock for a second, then comes to his senses* GAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Die you you die die you die die you die!!!!!! *Runs into the next room*

Roaul- owwww, my arms hurt…

Christine- Helloooo…?

Raoul- Hello? Oh I know that voice! Wait for me, my love! *Runs over and opens the door* 

Christine- Oh Raoul, thank y-  EEEEEKKKKKK!!!!

Erik- *returns from the other room with the Death-Dealer Punjab 2000™* NOW YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!! *Erik is foaming at the mouth and has insane yellow eyes now. Cool!* I'LL MAKE YOU P- …uhhhhhhh…*sees Christine screaming at a confused Raoul*

Raoul- What's wrong, my love?

Christine- meep, meep *points at his shame*

Raoul- Oooooohhhhhhh… right, no pants.

Christine- meep, meep, meep… *Christine faints*

Erik- *has that dumbfounded look with an insane twitch in his left eye*

Raoul- Hmmmmmm… there's a "my love " passed out on the floor, there's a "phantom of the opera" looking at me very angrily, and I'm naked. What do I do? 

*Thought bubble appears over Raoul's head!*

A. Apologize profusely, get dressed and leave

B. Grab Christine and run away as quickly as possible

C. Conveniently forget the last 15 minutes of your life √

D. Hands at the level of your eye's Raoul!

E. There is no e.

Hmmmm…. Yeah c. seems about right…

Raoul-*suffers a nervous twitch* Huh? Where am I? Why am I naked?

Erik- AAAAAHHHHHHH *throws the DDP2000* 

Raoul- Huh? *Punjab goes around his neck, and his head explodes like a pumpkin*

Erik- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Excellent!

Author- Sorry, that last part where Raoul's head explodes didn't really happen, but Raoul WAS punjabbed again (MR) 

Erik- Awwwwww, com'on…

Author- No.

Erik- OK, fine then! *pouty face* anyway, back to the guide…

**Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Erik- NOW FOR STEP 5!!!!!!

**Step 5!!!!!!! **

Erik- Step 5 is simply an elaboration of step 4, which was to get rid of all competition. If you are like me-

Raoul- And how!

Erik-…IF you are LIKE ME, you might have to take extra steps to eliminate the ONE GUY WHO ALWAYS SEEMS TO GET AWAY SOMEHOW AND SURVIVE!!! *Mouth foam*….ehehehehehehhh….*regains composure*  Because it always happens!

Raoul- *nods head knowingly*

Erik- Oh Lord Raoul *averts eyes from the naked punjabbed Raoul* …HERE'S YOUR CLOTHES…make use of them….

Raoul- YAY! *Puts pants on head* It's a hat^_^ ooo! And it's COLD!

Erik- ANYWAY!!! There are 4 methods you can use that will guarantee victory!! Let's go over them shall we?

**METHOD 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Erik- Use your secret tactic as early and as often as possible, instead of waiting 'til the last moment! I can assure you if you want to actually WIN your love's affections, this method will be very necessary!!

**METHOD 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Erik- It may help if you have minions around to do your bidding. Never underestimate the power of a bunch of stupid people who will listen to your every whim!!! I recommend hobos!

Raoul- meep O_O hobos scare the crap out of me!

Erik- And that is the point, you stupid, dimwitted, half naked vicomte! *smack* Put some clothes on!!! I'm already up to HERE with your shenanigans and just plain idiocy! You destroyed half of my LIFE'S WORK IN 2 SECONDS!!! ….I should probably have killed you sooner…If only I didn't love Christine so much…

Raoul- *looks as though he's about to say something*

Erik- NO! *Kick in the shin* no more talk from you! I'll not have it! I continue now!!

**METHOD 3!!!!!!!!!!**

Erik- Use the holy hand grenade…I guess.

Note from author number two! - You don't have to use this method. Holy hand grenades are very hard to come by. (KR)

Erik- Yes whatever…I'm giving the advice! Oh well on to the next and final method! If all else fails, this is guaranteed to work! Although it isn't recommended…

Raoul- And how!

Erik- *KICK IN THE SHINS AGAIN* I wish you would shut up!

**METHOD 4!!!!!**

Erik- Threaten to BLOW UP EVERYTHING. Don't give empty threats either. Show them your gunpowder collection muahahahahahaahaaaa *insanely evil phantom laugh* You have to really want to blow up everything too, no bluffing! Otherwise it will backfire, and backfiring is a bad thing.

Raoul- And how!

Erik- WHAT do you mean by THAT, monsieur?! That I WOULDN'T have blown up the opera house?! HUH!? *Insane glint in his eyes*

Raoul- O_O meep! No! And how! Christine's awake!

Christine- oooh I had this horrible dream…wait…why am I on the floor? *looks over toward Erik and punjabbed half naked Raoul* O_O It wasn't a dream O_O

Erik- *in a hurriedly I WANT TO PLEASE YOU tone* OH Christine you're awake! doyouneedanythingmaybesomefoodordoyouwantmetokillthefopor-

Raoul- look at me I'm half naked!!

Christine- *in shock*

Kippo-girl- *walks in* will Christine be in shock forever after seeing Raoul's shame? Will Erik kill Raoul because Raoul made Christine be in shock after seeing his shame? Will Erik get Christine because Erik killed Raoul due to letting Christine see Raoul's shame? Am I getting confusing? I'm confusing myself…STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT AND LAST CHAPTER OF…

Everyone-** Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!!** **™**

Raoul- I don't really want to die.

**END CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******

Kippo-girl- Finally after much waiting it's here! ^_^; It took a while I know I hope you guys aren't all T__T for me taking so long ;_; I just want to say that a large portion of this chapter was actually written by my brother Michael "the Mayor"…yup. He's the one that forced me to finish writing this story faster. Hopefully the next chapter will be updated a lot sooner than this one was _ please review! They please me so ^__^ oooh yes! If you want Raoul to live or die, please review! His fate lies in your hands…

Erik- I want him to die. And I want you to die.

Kippo-girl- *sniffle*


End file.
